Everybody thought we were SO CRAZY for accusing big name YouTubers Glidus and Alt Shift X for plagiarizing our famous "Spoiler Zone" segment. Well, it looks like the bit stealing bastards have struck again coming for another one of our beloved retired segments. I have no pleasure in announcing that what could have been a friendly rivalry has now turned into all out War. A couple of powerful influencers backed by the YouTube-industrial complex vs one scrappy podcast - it all comes down to you, dear listener, WHICH SIDE ARE YOU ON? We also talk about how hot it is when a woman gets equal pay, and, oh yeah, we also read two chapters of the book!
Chapters: ADWD Jon IX, The Blind Girl
Outro music: Mosquitoes by The Beths
Honestly, George fell off. TWOW might not even be good. It might be bad, if these two chapters are any indication! We'll still keep reading that garbage.
Chapters: ADWD The King's Prize, Daenerys VII
Outro music: Linda Ronstadt - Poor, Poor Pitiful Me
We check in on Theon's number of balls (unchanged) and discuss whether Barbrey should fuck him or someone else (yes).
Chapters: ADWD Tyrion IX, The Turncloak
Outro music: No Joy by The Beths. because it was a tyrion and theon episode
Cersei is plotting, Doran is plotting, the Sand Snakes are hissing and the Watcher is watching. Meanwhile, back at the Wall Jon is doing everything he can to make as many enemies as possible while alienating his remaining friends. This can only go well! I say "Oberon" instead of "Oberyn" a million times in this episode for some reason. So close! That's Shakespeare.
Chapters: ADWD The Watcher, Jon VIII
Outro music: Skulls by Misfits
How many women does the Feminist fuck? A thousand women, and one. (somberly) the one women is Roose Bolton's wife
Chapters: ADWD Daenerys VI, The Prince of Winterfell
Outro music: Sober to Death by Car Seat Headrest
Just like Bran in this chapter, we take a glimpse into the past... into the distant year of 2024, when "Hawk Tuah" was all the rage. Jon is also here and uhhh, well let's just say, he really fucked up this time. That's right, he introduced heterosexuality to the Night's Watch boys. If you ask me, he really deserves to die for this. But hey, that's just my opinion! What do YOU think? Maybe tell us by going to our BRAND NEW bluesky account, where you'll be seeing the listener question posts for every upcoming episode! And hey, would it kill you to give us a follow while you're at it? No, of course it wouldn't. Now THIS is how you write an episode description.
Chapters: ADWD Bran III, Jon VII
Outro music: Wild Boys by Duran Duran
Kay edited this one so I have no idea what the title means nor do I have any memory recording it. Here's what Kay says about it:
"the episode is called ASOBAPBBQ. it's about theon hears some very cool stories from roose and tyrion hangs out on a boat. the song is will anybody ever love me"
Chapters: ADWD Reek III, Tyrion VIII
Outro music: Will Anybody Ever Love Me? by Sufjan Stevens
We're back once again talking about the greatest literary character of all time. That's right, it's a Melisandre chapter! Dany is also here and I'm gonna be honest I already forgot what happened in her chapter. Let's say she had a talk with Skahaz and Mo Reznak and cried about Missandei's dead brother. Oh and she has child slaves now, but in a cool woke way, not like the slavers she just outlawed.
Chapters: ADWD Daenerys who cares how many at this point, Melisandre I
Outro music: Deeper Well by Emmylou Harris
a new episode!!! this one is called "Pussy Fetus Magic". it's the jon chapter where melisandre touches his "wolf" and davos turns out to be alive and gets his boyfinding mission. the song is char ga kuru by koichiro hori
I swear there was at least 10 additional minutes of Forrest Gump talk that I cut out. Somebody get us theatre tickets we're getting desperate.
Chapters: ADWD The Wayward Bride, Tyrion VII
Outro music: Gump by Weird Al Yankovic